youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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