My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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