Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
