There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
