Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
