Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You left your phone here
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