don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I am one with the molecules
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
