so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Where is the hickey?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
