In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
