i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
