this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Terrible idea I love it
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
