She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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