This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
