Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
