we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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