her vagine was all disorganized.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
