the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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