Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
