That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
