i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
