You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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