Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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