I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
