i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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