In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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