i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
