Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
