if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
