I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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