imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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