Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
