Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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