Don't you send me to vm
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
