Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
