So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
