you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
