Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Randomize
