all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I didn't notice because vodka
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
