Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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