I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
