Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
