UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wish i was in the wii world.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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