It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
