I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
