She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
