is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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