WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
