I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm going to jail i love you
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
