i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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