member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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