bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
