dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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