Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
