i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
