I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i think i just lost a toe
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize