How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
