sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
