How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
